Ink, Parchment and A Quill
by cloverlover
Summary: Lily's letters to her parents were full of her life at Hogwarts, but the truth was that she had concealed most of her life at Hogwarts from her parents. She couldn't see the point of telling them everything, after all – she found it a little mean to burden them with her troubles when they were so far apart. Her friendship with Severus Snape, for example...
1. September 1971

September 1971

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_How have you been lately? It's my first week at Hogwarts, and so far it's amazing! I miss you a lot, but it's also very fun here on _so_ many levels. We have so many interesting classes I never even knew we could study, like Charms (that's casting spells), Transfiguration (turning one thing into another), Herbology (the study of plants and herbs), and even Astronomy. I think my favourite one so far is Potions. It's amazing what you can brew with some ingredients and time. It's fascinating beyond belief!_

_The train ride was very long, but I was with Sev so it didn't matter so much. He fell asleep at some point, but I was too excited to do the same, so I just stared out of the window. There was this very large woman who was pushing a trolley on the train, and I used some money to buy wizard sweets. She was very nice to me, and told me their names because I'd never seen them before. They're very different from the ones I normally get. We've got some normal ones like Pumpkin Pasties, but we've also got Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and Chocolate Frogs!_

_Bertie Bott's are great, because they really do have every flavour. I tried a pink one which I thought was strawberry, but turned out to be tuna. I think Severus got one that tasted like baked beans, but you can never be sure. As for the Chocolate Frogs, they're little boxes with chocolate frogs in them, and the frogs can actually move! Mine jumped out of the box and I had to catch it with my hands. I felt bad eating it for a moment, because I thought it was alive, but Sev told me it's only a spell. So I ate it, and it tastes just like chocolate. It comes with a card too, Sev told me they're collectibles. I got Merlin. Remember Merlin? You read to me about him and King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table when I was small. The card has his picture and some information about him on it. Magical photos are different from ours, because they move! Sev understood why I was surprised, because his dad's a Muggle. It was still amazing to watch. One moment Merlin was there, and the next he was gone! I wonder how magical people do that?_

_We were Sorted into our houses as soon as we got there. Severus and I didn't get into the same house. I'm in Gryffindor, and he's in Slytherin. There are four houses in all – the other two are Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. They were named after the four founders of Hogwarts who lived thousands and thousands of years ago. I only know Salazar Slytherin, because Sev got him on his Chocolate Frog card. He says he once explained to me about the four founders, but I don't remember them. Anyway, we were Sorted by alphabetical order, so I was one of the first ones, of course. We had to put on this old brown hat called the Sorting Hat (which is, in truth, not a very creative name), and at first I didn't know what was going on, until it started speaking! It told me it could see into my mind, which is how it Sorted me. Gryffindors are known to be brave, Ravenclaws are wise, and Hufflepuffs are loyal. As for Slytherin…well, they don't seem to be a very friendly bunch._

_I feel rather bad for Sev. Slytherins are reputed to be cunning and other things, but he doesn't seem to be the type at all, does he? I'm ever so glad I got into Gryffindor, though I wouldn't have minded any other house. The people in my house are very nice to me, and I just feel so welcome here already. We're almost like one big family here at Hogwarts._

_Severus doesn't seem to be having such a good time, though. I think you know he hasn't got an owl, so I told him he could use Everette, but he hasn't so far. His parents must be awfully worried about him. I haven't seen Severus with anyone else since the beginning of term. I felt so bad meeting new people at my table during mealtimes, because people from different houses usually don't sit together. I only see him during Potions. He's very good, but the fact that he read a ton of Potions books before he came here probably contributes to that._

_I haven't explored Hogwarts properly yet apart from the classrooms, but it really is a very magical place. We've got a forest right next to us, but we're not allowed in because apparently there are dangerous things in there. I'm not sure what, but I don't think I want to know anyway. Our Herbology teacher planted a new tree the other day, just by the Forest. It's only a little seedling now, but they told me it was a willow. It's growing very fast for a tree, and when I go over to visit it I always feel a little scared, because it _moves. _Perhaps my teacher put a spell on it, but I can't be sure._

_I've met some friends too. There's this boy called James Potter who's very friendly to me. He looks very odd, because he's got round glasses and hair which sticks straight up. I'm not joking, it really does! He does brush it, but he says it never stays down. He met a couple of his own friends on the train as well, and he introduced me to them – Sirius, Remus and Peter. Very peculiar names, don't you think? I do like them, though. We're all in Gryffindor. I don't talk to them as much as I do to James, but I think we're all going to get along._

_The thing is, James doesn't like Sev very much. The first day we came here, he and his friends were laughing at him because he fell into the Black Lake on the way to Hogwarts. You see, we have to cross a huge lake to the castle in boats, and he lost his balance and toppled over. This gigantic squid came out of the water and put him back in the boat, so he was okay, and I thought it was awfully brave of him. I would have fainted, because it honestly was very scary. Anyway, I've told James so many times to stop taunting Severus about it, but he never listens to me. I don't know how Sev feels about me and James being friends. I think maybe I should start talking to him a bit more so he doesn't feel left out. James has his own friends, and Sev looks ever so lonely._

_I'll write again soon._

_Love,_

_Lily_

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"What are you doing?" said a voice. Lily quickly hid the parchment she had been writing on under the table in the Gryffindor common room. James was a few steps behind her. "Writing a letter to my parents," she said, conscious of the fact that James was attempting to see what she was writing from the way his eyes surreptitiously darted towards it. She glanced at the letter, checked that the ink was dry, and folded it. James' face fell for a moment, but it brightened again and he said with a smile, "Well, I hope you didn't say anything bad about me."

"Of course not," snorted Lily. "And even if I did, it's my letter."

James shrugged. "Have you finished your homework yet?"

"Yes. I did it yesterday," came the quick reply.

"What? How?"

"I just… did." Lily raised an eyebrow at him.

"We had piles of homework, Lily! How did you manage to finish it in one night? You had the entire weekend!" James was staring at her in shock. Lily rolled her eyes at him, and just at that moment, Sirius, Remus and Peter came down the stairs. "Hello, Flower Power!" called Sirius.

"Don't _call _me that," said Lily, wincing at the nickname.

The four of them looked at each other and laughed. "Say," said Sirius with a casual air. "It's a great day outside, would you mind joining us for a walk?"

Lily ran through a mental to-do list in her head, and found that there was nothing else she had to do. Satisfied that she had done everything, she nodded. "Just give me a minute." She ran up the stairs to her dormitory, ignoring the confused looks the four boys gave each other as she did so. She reached her room and quickly ran to the drawer to put her letter inside. She closed it, locked it with a wave of her wand and a muttered incantation, and ran back down the stairs. With a quick look at the four boys, she headed for the door out of the common room. "Let's go."


	2. December 1971

December 1971

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Merry Christmas! Thanks for all the gifts. Did you make all that toffee yourself, Mum? It must have taken ages! Don't worry, I'm not going to eat it all, though I do love toffee ever so. I remember that Halloween several years ago when I got ever so ill from all those sweets, and I don't fancy experiencing that again, it was horrible. Thanks for the earmuffs too, Dad. My old ones were getting rather worn, and I tried to fix them with a few spells and now it looks like a cat shed its hair all over it. It's starting to get cold here too, so I'll definitely use them!_

_I hope you have a good time in Italy. I'll be fine at Hogwarts, because Sev's going to be here with me. James and his friends have all gone home, but we're not the only ones at Hogwarts. I suppose I should make a few more friends from other houses whilst I'm here._

_School has been good so far. I still think Potions is brilliant. We learnt how to brew a Forgetfulness Potion just last week, and it was quite interesting. In Charms we did a couple of spells – basic ones like opening doors and making things fly (we practiced with feathers), but also a couple for self-defense. I'm beginning to think that Astronomy is a little tiresome, though. We always have classes late at night so we can chart the stars, so I feel ever so sleepy the next morning, and I find it very tedious. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not going to try my best, as I always do even if I don't like studying it._

_James and his friends are still being very mean to Sev. They're always calling him things when they see us in the hallways, and comment on stuff like his hair. I don't think there's anything wrong with his hair. There are plenty other people with hair like his, but they only pick on him. It's not fair at all. I've been talking to Sev a lot more now because James and his friends are just being so rude._

_I've got to tell you something that happened around a month ago. Sev and I were walking down the corridors to Transfiguration, and James and his friends were right behind us. I didn't see it coming when they suddenly barged through us shouting complete nonsense. They had managed to avoid me a little so I wasn't hurt, but Sev was knocked to the floor and his books went flying. I used my wand to pack them back into his bag, and when I turned to James and his friends, they were all laughing. I got so angry then, I wanted to hex them, but I stopped myself. I started shouting at them instead, and Sev was behind me on the floor telling me to stop, and James just left. He is such an annoying, arrogant toerag. I meant James, not Sev. Sev is a very good friend to me, though he didn't want to speak to me for several days. I expect it was because I defended him. But I had to, didn't I? I couldn't just let him lie there with them laughing at him!_

_And it's beginning to snow… I think I'll go outside. Hope this letter gets to you quickly!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Lily?"

Lily looked up just as she was giving her letter to Everette in the Owlery. She turned back to her owl and said, "Everette, send this to my parents, please," and watched her fly off before turning back to the entrance, where she sensed the voice had come from. Severus stood there at the door of the Owlery, his head cocked to one side. Severus was dressed in a coat along with his Slytherin scarf, which was wrapped around his neck multiple times.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked.

"Not really," she replied, looking down at her own clothes. She was dressed in a warm, fluffy coat which matched her Gryffindor scarf. On her hands were her fluffy pink mittens she had worn last winter, and perched on her head was a similarly pink woolen hat. "You look like you are, though."

"I suppose I am, just a little bit," he said with the crooked smile Lily knew so well. She had noticed that Severus didn't smile so much nowadays at school, so it was nice to see it again. "Walk with me?" he offered.

Lily shrugged and ambled towards him. She had nothing better to do.

Outside, it was a winter wonderland. As they trudged along in their robes, Lily noticed barren trees covered in icicles and snow, and several birds twittered as they flew by. They reached the tree-lined path by the Black Lake, which was frozen over with ice. Lily wanted to skate over it, but a glance at the running water just visible underneath told her that the ice wasn't thick enough just yet. She spotted a patch of snow to her right which was free of trees, and suddenly had an idea. She pulled Severus towards it with both mitten-clad hands. "Come on, let's make a snowman!"

The side of Severus' mouth quirked up, and he let himself be dragged by Lily towards the snow-covered area by the lake. Lily used her hands to pick up a bundle of snow, and swiftly rolled it into a tight ball. She placed it on the ground and began to push it. After a few minutes or so, the ball was much bigger, and Severus helped her push it around and around in a circle, collecting snow along the way.

Lily broke into a run, and she and Severus began to laugh as they ran around the clearing with the large snowball in front of them. Faster and faster they went until, with an almighty crash, the snowball collided with a large oak tree, abruptly followed by Severus and Lily, who hit the snowball and fell backwards onto the snow-covered ground with a thump.

The air was momentarily knocked out of Lily's lungs; she couldn't breathe for several seconds. Gasping for breath, she struggled to get up and failed. Severus seemed to be going through the same process, his eyes wide as he attempted to gulp air into his lungs. Eventually, the two of them gave up and lay there on the ground, staring up at the cloudy grey sky.

When they were able to breathe again, they still didn't get up. Somehow, the magic of the entire situation captivated them, and both of them felt like they should stay on the ground. Lily turned to Severus, who was on her left, and said, "Well, that was a failure." Severus nodded in amusement.

Lily turned to him again as an idea popped into her head. "How about we make snow angels?"

"Snow angels?" breathed Severus. "How do you do that?"

Lily gave a tinkling laugh and replied, "Like this." Using her feet, she scooted backwards so she was in the middle of the clearing. As soon as she reached it, she began to flail her arms and legs wildly, rapidly making a shape in the snow which resembled an angel with wings. At some point she got up to admire her work. "You try it."

Severus copied her and, after scooting next to her snow angel, moved his arms and legs. It turned out to be very difficult, what with him lying inches deep in snow. However, he succeeded, and he got up to join Lily as they gazed at the pair of snow angels which had overlapping wings, as if they were standing right next to each other as they were.

They stared at the snow angels for a while, and slowly, Severus snaked her arm around Lily's shoulders. They stood there in companiable silence as snow began to fall once again, and after a while, the snow angels were nowhere to be seen.


	3. March 1971

March 1971

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_I can't believe it's almost the end of the year already! Only three months to go now, if my calculations aren't wrong. I haven't done maths since primary, after all, though we don't need it here in the wizarding world. I'm every so glad, I had always thought it was a waste of time. I can't wait to see you, but I don't want to leave this place either. I suppose I don't really get a choice in the matter, do I? Just kidding. I really do miss you._

_I made a few friends during Christmastime, like I said I would. I met a Ravenclaw called Meiling Tang. Her parents are from China, but she's lived in Wales all her life. She's got the nicest hair I've ever seen – it's really straight and black like silk. I wish I had her hair, but then I suppose it wouldn't go well with the rest of me, would it? I also got to know a Hufflepuff. Her name's Sophia Abercrombie. She's _really _tall, and looks a lot older than she is because of her height, but she acts just like her age. I met both of them in the Great Hall, because during Christmas we're allowed to sit together, and since there weren't a lot of people anyway we did so and got talking. Meiling couldn't go back because her parents had gone to Hong Kong to visit her grandparents, and Sophia's parents were also off somewhere. We just chatted for a while and I found we have a lot in common!_

_We never have any classes together, all three of us, but I do have Astronomy with Meiling and Herbology with Sophia. Meiling's great at Astronomy – her parents are both experts at it, so she knows all the moons of Jupiter and other stuff I can't even begin to understand. She makes my classes so much more interesting that way, because Professor Sinistra is so cryptic sometimes. Sophia's a pretty good herbologist too, because she told me she's got this huge garden back home where she lives, and they grow strawberries there too. I really want to see them one day. Do you think I'd be able to visit her during the summer when I'm not with Sev?_

_Here's some good news – James hasn't bothered us so much since November. He does taunt Sev in Potions occasionally (last week he threw some horned slugs at his head), but Sev never seems to hear him anyway, because Sev is always so engrossed in his work when he's brewing something. I've seen Sev brewing potions, and it's fascinating to watch. His face transforms completely, and he's concentrating so hard on the cauldron in front of him, carefully adding the ingredients, turning up the heat, and stirring just the right amount of times. His Potions textbooks are completely covered in scribbles. I can't really read it, but it's probably notes on how to improve the potions, because he usually brews them a different way to the textbook. It's fortunate his handwriting is so tiny, because I don't think he'd be able to fit all that writing onto it otherwise. He's top of the class, too. He earns quite a lot of points for Slytherin in potion-making. I do earn points for Gryffindor as well, but I'm not nearly as good as he is. I don't have that passion he possesses. I think he really has a gift, don't you? I told him once that he should get a job in Potion-making when he grows up. He just shrugged and smiled at me. I didn't know whether to take that as a yes or a no._

_By the way, James and his friends have made a new name for themselves. They now call themselves the 'Marauders'. I looked the word up in the dictionary you gave me and it apparently means a raider, or a person who steals things or attacks people. It sounds rather morbid to me, and I unfortunately don't know who came up with the name. I suspect it was James though, since he always acts like he's the leader of the group. Sirius, Remus and Peter all follow him around in school. Well, actually, Sirius not so much, because James seems to like him more than the others. They're more like best friends, but Remus and Peter just tag along, especially the latter._

_I have to go to afternoon classes in a minute or two. I've got Defense Against the Dark Arts (or DADA, as we call it in school) with the Hufflepuffs. It's quite fun, because we duel against each other. Don't worry, no one ever gets hurt, and I definitely won't be because I'm good at spells. See you soon._

_Love,_

_Lily_

Lily looked up from her letter in the common room. Sure enough, her new-found friend Sophia was waiting at the door. "Come on Lily, let's go to class," she sang. "I just can't_ wait_ for Defence!" Lily smiled back at her in reply and beckoned for her to come in. Looking around to make sure there weren't any Gryffindors hiding behind the portrait to attack any unwelcome visitors, Sophia nodded and entered the common room. "Wow," she breathed. "This is _so _much cooler than our common room. Everything looks so…regal." Her eyes drifted towards the fireplace, where a chess set sat on a table between two comfy red armchairs beside it, and the red and gold carpet with a big G in the centre spread across the wooden floor of the common room.

"Really?" said Lily. "I should come and visit your common room sometime. Where is it?"

"I'll have to take you there," giggled Sophia. "You wouldn't be able to find it, it's so well hidden down there next to the kitchens. It's so convenient for midnight raids when we're all hungry. And the passwords aren't made of words, they're made of a series of knocks we have to make on the door." Lily raised her eyebrows at her as she giggled, but shrugged and decided to believe her. She never thought of visiting the other common rooms before, and she wondered for a moment where the Slytherin common room was. Perhaps she could find it and visit Severus. Then again, she suddenly remembered the other Slytherins who didn't find people from other houses so welcome. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all.

"I hope we'll be able to duel each other again today," said Sophia conversationally, as she stepped out of the portrait hole with Lily. "Last lesson was really fun."

Lily agreed heartily, as the two girls arrived at the door to the DADA classroom. Looking at each other with wide grins, they pushed it open and stepped through the door together.


	4. October 1972

October 1972 

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_It's almost Halloween! This week the Great Hall was decorated, so now pumpkins hang from the ceiling instead of candles. I'm glad they did that, actually, because I always had this paranoia that the candles would drip hot wax on me, though they never do. Professor Flitwick, my Charms professor, did the spells and enchantments for it, and I think he prevented the wax from reaching the students if they happened to drip on us. We're all ready for the end of the month! I asked Professor McGonagall about it the other day and she said we don't have any dress-ups for the occasion here, which is a shame. I would have dressed up as a pumpkin if orange didn't look so bad with my hair. But then I don't have a costume, which means I'll have to make one of my own, and I've never been very good at tailoring things, you know that._

_Sev finally met some friends. He's been hanging around a lot with some Slytherins in our year and some older boys too. Of course I'm happy for him, but I don't like any of them very much. I didn't tell him, though. Some of them creep me out, like Rodolphus Lestrange for example. He's got this thing about blood status – I'm not quite sure what that is, I'll find out later. Anyway, Rodolphus is ever so scary, but I think Sev's other friend Bellatrix is even scarier. She's completely wild. She's got crazy hair, lank and long and curling all around her face, and the most frightening eyes I've ever seen. I thought Severus' eyes were dark, but hers are even more so. Rodolphus is also rather intimidating, but he isn't half as deranged as her. I know I shouldn't be talking about them like that, but I honestly feel like staying away from them as much as I can whenever I see them. Sev is friends with them though, but I know I would never do the same myself…_

_His friends aren't solving his bullying situation, though. Sev's getting teased again, by the same people I told you about and others. I had to defend him again today when the Slytherin girls started laughing at his hair and calling it 'greasy'. He doesn't like it very much when I yell at them for him, but I felt like I had to because he just kept ignoring them whilst they jeered at him. It made me feel like I was boiling inside. I couldn't control it, so I had to lash out at them before it got worse. I don't know whether I should stop or not, but I usually react on impulse. Is that a bad thing, I wonder?_

_James and the Marauders are being increasingly annoying day by day. They keep calling me Flower Power because of my name. I hate it! It's not a friendly nickname either because they laugh at me whenever they call me that. I keep telling them my name is _Lily, Lily Evans, _but they never listen. Then again, they don't listen to anyone. Did I tell you that James and Sirius got detentions almost every week last year? What are they trying to do, set a record? This year they're getting worse. They've been taking things from the other houses and putting them in random places where they wouldn't go looking for them. Last Wednesday I saw a pair of glasses tucked into a hole at the staircases. I gave them to Professor McGonagall so she could return them to their rightful owner. I think she did – she returned them to some girl called Mary or Maria. I can't remember._

_It's Sunday right now, so I really haven't got much to do. It's almost dinnertime. We've got wonderful food here, did I ever tell you? I don't know who cooks the food, perhaps they make it out of thin air, but that would go against Gamp's Law (don't ask, it's too complicated to explain). The food here is always amazing amazing. We've got sausages and bacon and eggs, and all kinds of meat, plus delicious desserts like treacle pudding. I love pudding, it's my favourite food in the world!_

_I have to go now. I just heard a whole stampede of feet running down the stairs, and my spare quill just fell off the table because it was quivering so much. Let me check it isn't broken – no, it isn't, thankfully enough. This probably means I need to leave too. I'll write to you soon._

_Love,_

_Lily_

"Oy, Flower Power!"

Something hard and round hit the back of Lily's head. She turned to see the grinning faces of James and Sirius looking back at her. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, she turned back to her pudding.

The hard object hit her head again. This time, she turned again and glared at them, but the effect was ruined by the fact that her bright red hair had blown into her face. James and Sirius burst into peals of laughter, poking each other and pointing at her as they did. "What?" she huffed.

"We wanted to ask you something," James began.

"If you don't mind it being just a _little bit _personal," said Sirius, using his free hand to show her just how little it was.

"Well, what then?"

James and Sirius looked at each other. "You do it," said James. "No, you," countered Sirius. Lily was about to ignore them again when James took her wrist, looked her in the eye and asked, "Are you and Severus together in…" he cocked his head, "_that _way?"

Lily stared at the two of them for a moment. "No," she finally replied. "We're just friends."

"Oh, sure," said James, as he looked at Sirius again and they began to laugh as they gave each other knowing looks.

"Fine, don't believe me," said Lily, and she shrugged, trying to look as if it didn't matter. "I'm just saying that we've been friends since two years ago, when I moved into his neighbourhood. He was the only magical person I knew at the time."

"Really? You two seem pretty close," said Remus mildly, who was on the other side of the table. He wasn't quite as rowdy as his other Gryffindor friends, and Lily appreciated that.

"Well, we have known each other for some time," said Lily, looking back at him. Remus' eyes unfocused for a moment, but then he smiled and nodded.

Having finished their dinner, the five of them got up and went for the door out of the Great Hall. Lily walked slightly faster so as to get away from the Marauders, who were whispering to each other and looking at her. She pretended not to see them, until James suddenly said loudly, "I know! Let's go!"

She whipped around to see what was going on, and saw them running towards the Slytherin table, where most of the students there were still finishing their meal. "What are you doing?" she called after them, but they ignored her. The students looked up and gave the Marauders scathing looks, but they didn't look at them at all.

"Oy! Snivellus!" yelled Sirius, as they approached Severus, who was slowly eating his pudding at the table, savouring every bite. Severus steadfastly ignored him. "Come on, answer me, Greasy," said James. Severus turned in the other direction. "Fine. Snape."

Severus turned to him. "What?" he said irritably.

This time Sirius was the one to ask. "Do you like Lily?"

"Yes…" Severus began, but then he caught himself and said, "Wait, in what way?"

James wiggled his eyebrows at Sirius, who chuckled. James turned to Severus and said mock-politely, "We were just wondering whether you liked her in _that _sense, you know… just curious…" he wheedled.

Lily craned her neck to watch them speaking to each other. Severus was staring at them just like she had, as if considering how to answer their question. Before he did however, an unmistakable blush crept upon his pale face. Sirius and James spotted his bashful expression and instantly started hooting with laughter. "Severus likes Lily! Severus likes Lily!" they chanted, still laughing, as they took out their wands and began to douse him in water with the _Aguamenti _spell. Streams of clear water hit Severus' face and robes, drenching him from head to toe. Severus merely turned away from them and got up as water kept hitting the back of his head, leaving his hair completely soaked. Lily could see Rodolphus and Bellatrix sitting not so far away from Severus, but they merely looked at him and returned to their meals like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. But Lily knew otherwise.

She ran. She sprinted back into the Great Hall, darted round to the Slytherin table, and skidded to a halt behind Sirius and James. With a quick wave of her wand, she shouted with conviction, _"Stupefy!" _James fell to the floor, knocked out into a dead faint. Sirius let out a shout that sounded strangely like a bark, but before he could say anything of meaning, Lily shot the spell at him too.

"Come on, Sev," said Lily, her hand out to him. Severus looked back at her for a moment, glanced at her hand and, to her surprise, walked away in the other direction. Lily was bewildered and raced after him, narrowly stepping on James' unconscious head as she did. "Sev!"

"Leave me _alone,_" he said haughtily. Lily placed her hand on his shoulder, meaning to turn him around to look at her, but he twitched roughly and shook Lily's hand away. He strided quickly away from her with large steps, so she had to run to keep up with him. Lily suddenly noticed how much taller he had grown. "I don't need you to help me every time they try to tease me," he said without looking at her.

"But I'm your _friend, _Sev. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?" asked Lily. He still wasn't looking at her. She had to crane her neck to look at him.

Severus sighed in frustration. "Lily, do you realize how _weak _you make me look when you defend me like that? _I don't need your help!_" he shouted, and bolted form the Great Hall, leaving Lily behind, still confused.

**Author's Note:**

**Hello, thanks for all the follows guys! I really, really appreciated them, and I was jumping for joy this morning when I got 5 or 6 new subscriber notifications in my inbox in just one day :D**

**So this is Sev and Lily's second year at Hogwarts. Hope you enjoy it just as much as the first! **


	5. January 1972

January 1972

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_It is currently exam time, but I figured I would take a break and write to you before I passed out from stress. We have so much studying to do, I'm starting to think the teachers made a mistake! We had the History of Magic exam yesterday, which was _ever _so boring – I honestly can't be bothered to learn all those dates, I'll just learn some of the most important ones and hope I scrape a grade I'm happy with. They're not even useful. Who would want to learn about stupid things people did in the past? The only interesting thing about the subject is our teacher, who is a ghost. It's very funny watching him trying to pick up the textbook and open it, because he can't, his hands just go right through._

_Things haven't changed much, to be perfectly honest. I sit in class with Sophia and Meiling like I usually do, but Severus has been avoiding me these days. He's not doing it in a mean way, because he's not that kind of person at all, but he doesn't look at me when I say hello in the corridors anymore. In class he barely acknowledges me. I don't know what he's been doing recently because he's always holed up in the corners of classrooms doing something or other. I think it started after that last letter I wrote to you back in October._

_We were in the Great Hall and that awful James Potter and his friend Sirius decided to ask me whether I was together with Sev. Together as in… you know. Well, obviously, I wasn't, and I told them so. We're just _friends_, I said. He and Sirius didn't seem to be very satisfied, and I thought they were going to leave the matter alone, but instead they went to ask Sev the same thing after I had left. Only this time, he didn't answer. I don't know whether it was my imagination or not, but I think I saw him blush. What does it mean?_

_Naturally, James and Sirius thought it was hilarious and began taunting him about it and did the most awful things to him. They used their wands to pour water on him (it's a spell called _Aguamenti, _just so you know) and he was soaked from head to toe. I was about to go up to my room, but I saw it and I felt so awful I ran up to them without thinking and took the chance to Stun them with my own wand. I know it's wrong, but I didn't get into trouble. I don't know how, though – all the teachers were with us in the Great Hall when it happened. Perhaps they thought James and Sirius deserved it. After all, they've had so many detentions now, the headmaster keeps a separate file in his cabinet for their wrongdoings._

_Anyway, after I did that, I went up to Sev but he shook me off when I tried to speak to him. He said something about him looking weak in front of other people. I mean, what was I supposed to do? I didn't think anything wrong, did I?_

_I think Sev's still embarrassed about the entire affair, but I really don't want to lose him…_

_Love,_

_Lily_

Lily walked into the library, casually avoiding Madam Pince, who was staring daggers at the textbooks in Lily's hands. Lily was an avid reader, and just as much of a book fan as any other, but it wasn't her fault that her books were second-hand and worn. She found a comfortable spot in the library she always sat at in the corner, and began to walk towards it. Just as she was weaving her way past endless stacks of bookshelves, something caught her eye. She turned, and saw a familiar figure clad in robes and a silver-green tie, sitting on the window-ledge, poring over a thick, dusty book. His greasy hair covered his face, so she couldn't read the expression on it, and he seemed to be highly engrossed in the large volume.

"Hey, Sev."

Severus didn't look up. In fact, he shifted so that his face turned slightly more towards the window, which he gazed out of, suddenly interested in an insignificant particle of dust outdoors. Lily continued to stand in her place, slightly defiant. "Severus!" she said in a loud whisper, careful not to disturb the librarian who was acutely aware of her presence.

This time, he did turn towards her, using a long-fingered hand to brush strands of hair out of his face. Lily's feet were planted on the old rug on the library floor, and she was looking at him with her head cocked to one side, as if waiting for an answer. Somewhat awkwardly, Severus raised his hand weakly and mumbled, "Hello," with a slight nod.

With a loud sigh that sounded more like an annoyed huff, Lily stepped towards him. "Please tell me, Sev," she said, leaning against the wall next to the window, "why have you been ignoring me?"

"Ignoring you?" Severus raised his eyebrows, but his face twitched in a way that Lily knew very well. It gave everything away. He hesitated. "I haven't been ignoring you."

_Liar, _she thought. Severus could fool most people with those eyes, but not her. "Yes you have!" Lily stomped her feet as if to prove her point, and stepped forwards again, pointing accusingly at his face. Startled, Severus' head jerked backwards slightly. Lily raised a finger. "What about that time when I asked you how to cast that _Mimblewimble _spell in Charms?" A second finger went up. "And the time I asked if you could get the bat's spleen from the top shelf in the Potions classroom?" A third finger quickly sprung up to join the first two. "And when I tripped over in the corridor so my books went flying, and you _walked the other way!_"

Severus looked stunned, and Lily used this moment of weakness to step towards him again as menacingly as she could. "What happened to you after Hallowe'en? You just _refused _to speak to me!"

Lily could see out of the corner of her eye that Madam Pince was glaring at her again for shouting in the library, and decided not to take any chances. Lowering her voice by a few notches so she was still audible to him, she continued in a normal voice, pleadingly, "Honestly, Severus, I have done nothing wrong. I've been trying to help you all this time, but look at what you did for me in return!"

By this time, Lily could tell that Severus was looking slightly ashamed of himself. Clutching his heavy book to his chest, he said quietly, "Well, my friends were watching me talk to you, and they don't… approve of you."

For a moment, Lily was surprised as well. Was that the only reason Severus was avoiding her? Was it really that simple? "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"Because," he replied simply. Noticing her questioning look, he sighed and continued, "They just don't like me associating with people like you. You're…" he looked as if he were struggling with his words, and Lily decided to wait patiently. Finally, he merely shook his head in defeat and said, "Never mind. It's complicated."

"It wouldn't be that complicated if you could just tell me what the matter was."

"I can't," he grimaced in reply. "It's a thing between us, I can't possibly tell you."

"Fine." Lily turned on her heel to walk away, but changed her mind and turned back to look at him again. "_Bloody _fine, Severus!" From the shocked look on her face, she smiled inwardly in victory. It wasn't a common thing for her to swear, but she had thought it to be appropriate, since she really was that angry at him. Her parents had always told her not to swear unless she wanted to express her anger to someone else, or if something really bad had happened.

Holding her head high, she marched away to her private corner, where she threw her bag down with unnecessary force, shoved it open, and pretended not to care with pile upon pile of books spilled out. Picking a smaller one from the stack of books, she forced it open and began to read.

"Lily." Looking guilty, Severus slipped off the perch he had been sitting on by the window, and moved towards her. "Lily?"

Lily looked up at him again from her book, somewhat unwillingly. "Yes?"

Severus looked down at his feet, which were shifting uncomfortably. "The reason why they don't like you isn't because you're a girl, because Bellatrix is one too," he said slowly. "It's also not anything to do with the fact that you're really smart, much smarter than them, or that you're good at defending yourself…"

"Then what is it?"

Severus looked so uncomfortable at this point that Lily almost thought speaking caused him pain. Staring at his feet, Severus mumbled apologetically, "Well, it's a few things, Lily. Firstly, you're a Gryffindor."

"We're not in the same house_, _and that _bothers_ you?" she said incredulously. "Sev, I thought you were better than that!"

"It's not me!" he said defensively. "It's just _them._"

"It's not right, Sev. We can still be friends, even if we're not in the same house. I'll still help you whenever I can, and we can study together when we have exams. I enjoy being with you, Sev. I've known you for ages now."

"I know, Lily, but it's not just that…"

"Then what is it?"

Severus looked as if he had been backed into a corner. His emotions seemed to be in turmoil, and he gasped, "I can't tell you, Lily."

"Please, promise me you'll do the same."

Severus glanced up at her from his shoes. "What?"

Lily held out a hand, as if asking him to shake it. "Promise me that you'll help me when I need you to. That's what friends are for, right? We're supposed to help each other out."

"O-of course." Severus looked unsure, but Lily's hand was still out, and she was gazing imploringly at him. Hesitating, he slowly lifted his own hand to shake hers. She gripped his hand in a firm handshake, suddenly looking very formal. "Say 'I promise'."

"I…"

Lily gave him a look which seemed to say _I'm warning you._

"I promise." Severus gulped.


	6. April 1972

April 1972

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Sev told me why he isn't speaking to me anymore. It's ludicrously stupid. Is there anything wrong with being friends with someone from another house? His Slytherin friends don't allow him to speak to me only because I'm a Gryffindor. Honestly, there isn't any difference between the houses except for the fact that we wear different ties and don't share a common room. There was something else too, but no matter how I prodded him he simply wouldn't tell me. It's not that bad, is it?_

_I think Rodolphus and Bellatrix are being a little too controlling of him. Not only are they telling him what to believe in, they're also restricting him to making other friends. They're ever so selfish. I'm glad I'm not like them. After all, I do have Meiling and Sophia, and neither of them are from my house, but we get along so well together! And no one cares about it either. Obviously Sev thinks differently, and I'm in no position to change his mind, but I am worried about him. What are his friends doing to him?_

_He's so different nowadays, I've noticed him. He keeps his head down when I see him in the corridors, and I know it's not because of me because he's like that all the time now. He used to walk along the corridors right in the centre, but now he sticks to the wall like he's scared someone will see him. He's got an edge to him, like he's stepping on thin ice and desperately doesn't want it to break for fear of what lies underneath. I haven't the foggiest idea what's causing him to act like this, but I have a feeling it's his friends. Or what he calls his friends, anyway. Technically, I don't think people like Rodolphus or Bellatrix would consider anyone a friend. And I don't like it very much._

_Even though Severus doesn't talk to me half as much as I'd like him to, we're still friends. I know so. We promised each other when I went to confront him about it in the library some time ago. He was rather unsure about it, but in the end we made a pact to help each other when we needed to. I feel slightly better about it now, because at least I know that Severus will return the favours I've done for him at some point in time. I mean, it's always been me defending him these days. It's only logical if he does the same._

_It's almost the end of the year, so things have been slightly more relaxed. I think Professor Dumbledore's getting more cheerful the closer we get to the summer holidays. He was whistling some song in the hallway just before I came here to write my letter._

_Mary just came into my room. Do you know Mary? I think I mentioned her that time when James and Sirius took her glasses. That seems so long ago now._

_Oh, now she's coming to look at my letter. I can't let her see it._

_Love,_

_Lily_

Tying her hair up to keep it out of her face, Lily peered into her cauldron. The potion was now a reddish colour, slowly turning darker as she watched. Fumes rose up in thin wisps of steam, smelling of mistletoe. Lily quickly added two pinches of standard ingredient, stirred five times anticlockwise, and waved her wand. The liquid turned blue. Her Forgetfulness Potion was complete.

Sighing in relief, Lily turned off the heat and plopped down into her seat, looking around somewhat smugly at her classmates, who were still working on their potions. Severus in particular seemed to be frowning deeply in concentration as he carefully added the required ingredients to his cauldron. Lily watched him as he did so. She counted the number of times he stirred. Once… twice… suddenly, he stirred once clockwise. Lily wanted to tell him that it was wrong, that the book didn't state what he had just done, and his potion was surely not going to work, but she watched in growing fascination as Severus' potion turned a bright blue. The hue was so perfect, it even matched the exact colour in the Potions textbook. Lily stared in amazement. How did Severus know what to do? Severus glanced around quickly, waved his wand, then sat down in satisfaction.

Professor Filibuster, their potions teacher, suddenly cleared his throat and stood up. Various heads looked up at him as he surveyed the room. "I trust you can work on your own for a few minutes, class," he said, his voice rumbling. "I'm just going to pop down to the supplies room to get some more potions ingredients. I hope you will not cause any trouble whilst I am gone," he continued, giving a pointed look at James and Sirius, who were sniggering in the corner, "and behave appropriately. I shall return later." With a nod at the class, he swept out of the room.

As soon as he left, the entire class began talking at the same time, which was perfectly normal, given that they had had to work in complete silence for the last hour. Lily had nothing to do but stare at everyone else as they conversed about various topics – Quidditch, homework, the coming of the summer holidays. Her gaze swept across to James and Sirius, who seemed to be speaking in some sort of code using facial expressions. Just as she was about to look away, James suddenly stood up and pointed at Severus from across the room. "Snape!" he yelled. "What'cha doing, sitting there?"

Severus made to ignore him, but as the rest of the class turned around to look at him he had to look up and reply. "I've finished," he said simply.

Sirius gave a bark of a laugh. "Finished!" he said. "Mine's taking ages to brew! That's impossible!"

"Hey Sirius," said James. "Do you think we could go over and check his potion out?" He turned away so the rest of the class couldn't see his face, but Lily caught a wink. She instantly knew something bad was going on. She got up to yell, "Stop!" but before she had the opportunity to do so, James whipped his wand out of his robes, pointed it at the potions supplies cupboard next to Severus' cauldron and yelled, "_Depulso!_"

Jar upon jar of ingredients toppled over at the top of the shelf. As they rolled towards the edge, they seemed to totter precariously, then fell off and smashed one by one into Severus' potion. Lily could only stare as Severus' potion turned various shades of grey, green and orange, until his entire cauldron abruptly exploded, covering half the classroom in yellow slime.

Lily's head turned to see James and Sirius laughing as if they had just invented the funniest joke in the world. She noticed that they had placed a Shield Charm over themselves, so that they were the only people in the classroom who were actually unscathed. The anger inside her grew until she simply could not contain it any longer, and as usual when she got angry, various scenes began to play out in her head about what her next move should be. _Should I hex them? _she thought to herself, the images rolling faster like a Muggle movie on fast-forward. _But which one should I use? _She thought of using the Tickling Hex, but figured it wouldn't make much difference, since they were already laughing so much. The Bat Bogey-Hex could be an option, but she felt she wouldn't be able to perform it well enough. This all happened in a matter of seconds, but Lily finally decided to work by instinct. She strode up to James and Sirius and said the first spell that came into her head, "_Incendio!_"

Almost instantly, their robes caught on fire. James yelled as the flames licked at his hair, singeing the inky black edges. His glasses fell off and smashed on the floor, the lenses quivering as they shattered. Sirius, meanwhile, was hastily trying to cast a spell to extinguish the flames, but every time he tried to cast an _Aguamenti _spell, a spark of fire touched his skin and he could only shout in agony.

The class was watching the spectacle with wide eyes. Lily, with her hair as red as the fire burning Severus' nemeses, quickly rushed over to Severus' side of the classroom, where she began to clean his clothes and the rest of the classroom with a few quick incantations of _Scourgify._ Severus could only stand there, mouth open, eyes wide, as he watched his enemies prancing about like they were auditioning for a ballet, helplessly flailing about on the other side of the classroom. Somehow, they hadn't managed to light anything else, Lily noticed. Perhaps it was something she had done when she had cast the spell, so the only thing it burned was its target.

At some point, Remus Lupin took pity and stood up to flick his wand at his friends. A stream of water poured out of it, dousing them completely. The water extinguished the flames, but James and Sirius were completely and utterly soaked, even more so than Severus when the same thing had been done to him. Lily couldn't help but smile a little despite the fact that she knew she was in big trouble. She felt satisfaction from the fact that she had poured water on the people who had poured water on her friend.

As soon as James and Sirius settled down, rubbing their sores where the fire had burnt their skin, Professor Filibuster decided to come back into the classroom. As soon as he walked in, he stopped in his tracks and stared. "What in the name of Merlinhappened whilst I was gone?" he asked severely. Lily could tell that he was extremely disappointed, and suddenly realized the full extent of what she had done. Knowing she had to face up to it, she began to confess her wrongdoings, but to her surprise, James stood up before she could say a word. "It was my fault, Professor," he said, looking apologetically at his feet, which were making a puddle of water on the tiled floor. "I was playing around with the heat at the bottom of my cauldron so both of us caught on fire."

Professor Filibuster shook his head. "And as for those…?" he said, pointing at the potions cupboard across the room with several missing jars. Lily had fortunately cleaned up the slime and the rest of the mess, leaving no trace of it whatsoever, so Sirius didn't take to long to think of an excuse. "I tried to cast a spell on myself to stop the fire, but it flew across the room. I aimed poorly," he explained hastily, brushing soggy wet hair out of his grey eyes.

Professor Filibuster paused to put the supplies he had taken on the table, mopped his brow and sighed. "Well, that leaves nothing but detention, then, Potter and Black." James refused to look at him, but Lily caught him casually elbowing Sirius so he would do the same. "You should be very ashamed of yourselves," said Professor Filibuster. "You shall come here on Wednesday evening for some cleanup duty. And no magic," he said, raising a finger as if her were warning them. Quietly, the two boys nodded in defeat.

The students were dismissed. A chaos of boys and girls pushed their way out of the room at the same time. Lily raced after James and Sirius, but they were much too far ahead. She did see James turn around though, and look in her direction. To her surprise, he smiled and winked. Lily didn't know how to react, and stood stock-still as he turned away again and left. She suddenly felt an unfamiliar sensation inside her, like her stomach had just flipped over multiple times when James smiled at her.

She decided to dismiss the thought and hung back to pack up her bags, and silently went for the now empty doorway. Before she passed through, however, she caught another person behind her. Severus Snape brushed past her to exit the Potions classroom. It could have been her imagination, but Lily thought she almost heard Severus mumble in her ear, "Thanks, Lily."


	7. November 1973

November 1973

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Everyone's asleep at the moment. It's a full moon tonight, and the moon's very high up too. If you were here you would probably berate me for staying up so late, but I can't sleep._

_I think I just saw a couple of shadows in the trees. That's strange, I didn't know there were animals apart from owls and insects in the Hogwarts grounds. There was this dog followed by something with antlers, and they were chasing this tiny thing that looks like a mouse. What's going on? Never mind, where was I?_

_Oh, right. Recently the Slytherins have been really excited about something or other. There was a Prefect who left in my second year called Lucius Malfoy, and he's apparently joined some kind of secret organization that all the Slytherins are dying to get into. It's got quite a morbid name, really – they're called the Death Eaters. I have never heard of that term in my entire life, but from the looks the Slytherins have been giving each other, what's good for them is probably bad for the rest of us._

_From what I've heard, this cult has an obsession over blood purity – as in, they believe that people who have magical parents are more superior than people with Muggle parents. In this case, I'm on the inferior side of the scale. Fortunately, I'm not the only one, but I honestly can't understand this nonsense. I mean, Sophia Abercrombie's a pureblood, but in Defence Against the Dark Arts she can barely aim at all. I always feel sorry for her when she's the first person in the entire class to get disarmed. People laugh at her already because she's a Hufflepuff (which I can never understand), and her atrocious spellcasting just makes it worse. Meiling's a half-blood, and she's not bad at magic, though her dad's a Muggle. And as for me – well, frankly, you know it's good since you've seen my report card…_

_The problem is now all the Slytherins are believing in this theory too. Turns out that most purebloods end up in Slytherin, for some reason. I've heard rumours about students ending up in the Hospital Wing because some nasty Slytherins hexed them with some spell. Most of them are Hufflepuffs, I've been told. There was this one boy who had his front teeth growing out of control and he had to run there covering his mouth with everyone else laughing at him. I looked it up and I think the spell's called _Densaugeo. _I'll keep that in mind so I can duck if someone casts that spell on me. I don't need warped teeth, thanks. I wasn't there at the time, but I've heard the Slytherins found it hilarious. I and my friends went to visit him in the Hospital Wing. He looked absolutely pitiful, but the nurse managed to shrink his teeth back to normal size today._

_There was also this girl who was found in a dark corner next to the trophy room, and she was trussed up with ropes and had a towel stuck in her mouth. Rumour has it that the towel came from Filch's office. Ugh, gross. I haven't the foggiest idea how the Slytherins managed to obtain it, but I have a feeling they got Peeves to help them with it._

_By the way, Peeves is the poltergeist who lives in our castle. No one can control him – well, except for the Bloody Baron, that is. The Bloody Baron's a ghost…I'll stop now before I have to explain anything more!_

_That girl called Mary in my house found her, fortunately enough. She told me that she had lost her wand too. I think she's found it now, but I can't be sure. She's in the Hospital Wing too, but she's mainly dealing with the shock. I think the Slytherins did something to her before tying her up. It's horrible to think about._

_The main reason why I can't sleep is because I narrowly escaped being hexed as well. Rodolphus Lestrange was trying to cast _Furnunculus _at me – that causes the victim to break out in these horrible spots – but I ducked in time. My heart was ready to jump out of my mouth and I just ran. I'm never going into a corridor alone again. I'm glad I have Sophia and Meiling as company._

_I'm probably being paranoid, but I've been wondering what Sev's been thinking about all this…do you think he would start ignoring me again just because of my blood? Was my blood purity the reason why he didn't speak to me earlier? I'm scared to find out the answer…_

_Love,_

_Lily_

So this was what insomnia felt like.

Lily was too tired to fall asleep, and for the first time the phrase made sense to her, somehow. Shivering in her thin pyjamas, she looked up at the moon hanging in the starless night sky. To someone else, she would have looked like a dark silhouette looking upwards.

She had concealed most of her life at Hogwarts from her parents. She couldn't see the point of telling them everything, after all – she found it a little mean to burden them with her troubles when they were so far apart. She could deal with her own problems, she thought. After all, she was taking care of herself perfectly well here at Hogwarts, unaided and without her parents. She didn't even feel homesick, but this wasn't because she didn't love her parents, but merely due to the fact that Hogwarts was too good to be true. This time, however, even she was having problems with admitting the truth she had hidden from her parents to herself.

The truth was that she _had_ heard Severus talking about blood purity with his fellow Slytherins. That fact disturbed her to no end. They had instantly stopped talking when she walked into the corridor and passed them, but from the looks on their guilty faces she had quickly deduced the subject of their conversation.

_Does it really matter?_ she wondered. _Is blood purity the most important thing in the end?_

She knew that Severus was ashamed of being a half-blood. It was for this reason that he had always been reluctant to talk about his family at Hogwarts. His friends had always assumed he was a pureblood, and never questioned his last name, which didn't appear anywhere in the twenty-four pure blood surnames like Malfoy or Nott. If Severus had told his friends the truth about his parents, that would have been somewhat equal to a death wish and instant abandonment.

Lily was glad that she hadn't been Sorted into Slytherin. She had never thought about whether she thought herself fortunate before, but now she realized how lucky she was indeed. She couldn't imagine life in Slytherin at all – her efforts to do so resulted in hazy images of green and silver.

She was pretty, relatively popular, and intelligent, she had to admit. Her friends envied these qualities of hers, but were never jealous about it. If she were in Slytherin, she would have been bullied to no end. Then again, she wouldn't be in Slytherin anyway, because of her blood. She resolved to comfort herself with this thought.

But she couldn't help worrying…


	8. February 1973

February 1973

For the first time in her life so far, Lily didn't quite know what to write. She pulled out a sheet of parchment from her drawer and locked it again with a wave of her wand. Taking out her favourite quill, she dipped it into her inkpot and began to write with unnecessary force.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

The nib of her pen broke as she wrote the comma, and she stared at the ink blotted on the parchment before she cradled her quill in her hands and burst into tears.

Knowing that what she was doing was ridiculous, she made a weak attempt to pull herself together and mended her quill with a quick _Reparo. _She stared at the parchment in front of her, the words she had already written seemingly mocking. She took one more look at it and vanished her words, then began to write again with a more deliberate approach.

_Mum and Dad,_

_I think I'm being bullied._

She stopped and ran her hand through her long hair. _It needs a nice trim, _she thought to herself, _it's a bit too long now. _She swept her hair over her left shoulder with a flick of the wrist and instantly felt a little more comfortable. She shook her head as she looked back at her feeble attempt at a letter on her desk. How stupid was she to confess what was happening to her parents? She didn't want them to know. They couldn't do anything about it, after all. She tried again after balling her letter up and tossing it aside.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_It's the Slytherins. It's always them. Everything's their fault. They're picking on all the Muggle-borns, and that includes myself. These days I've been doing nothing but avoiding them, and in class they whisper loudly on purpose so I know they're talking about me._

_I thought it was mean of James and Sirius when they laughed at my name and called me things like Flower Power and Lily-flower, but it's nothing compared to this. Back then I could just ignore them and get on with my life. And anyway, I knew they were only doing it for fun and not with any malicious intent. But this isn't the same._

_Have you ever heard of the term Mudblood? It's a name used for Muggle-borns. It doesn't appear very often in civilized conversation. In fact, it shouldn't be used at all. But that's what they're calling me. In the corridors, during class, in the Great Hall when I sit down for mealtimes, and basically every time they see me._

With a loud, annoyed groan, she threw down her quill and snatched the parchment up with both hands and proceeded to rip it into shreds. "I – don't – know – what – to – write!" she yelled, knowing that no one would hear her, since her room was empty and she was pretty sure James and Sirius weren't going to be hiding under their Invisibility Cloak. She smiled briefly as she remembered their fruitless attempts to ascend the staircase to the girls' dormitories, only to tumble back down again on a long, slippery slide. She threw the ball of paper shreds at the wall and expected it to fly straight into it from the force she administered to the throw, but the pieces only floated downwards like confetti. Sighing, she picked up the pieces and threw them in the bin. After a moment of thought, she pointed her wand at the bin and vanished its contents.

She needed to think. She forced herself to stand up and walk to the window by her bed, and looked outside at her friends who were relaxing by the Great Lake below. It was the weekend, and she usually took this time to complete her homework so that she could enjoy her Sunday break, but these days, she simply didn't feel like doing anything. She had a lot to do, but she couldn't bring herself to take her books out of her bag and work. Too many thoughts were tumbling about in her head, and she couldn't think coherently while this was happening.

_Mudblood._

Even the word itself sounded hateful. Every Slytherin who passed her sneered and said that word without any regard to how she would feel after hearing it. Her only hope was Severus, who had somehow managed to seem neutral about the entire matter. He wasn't ignoring her anymore, but he wasn't saying much either. She supposed they could still be considered friends, albeit distant ones. He had resorted to giving her curt nods in the corridors when his possessive friends weren't looking. They smiled at each other in the library, but they wouldn't dare sit together and read, for fear of being discovered. They only spoke to each other when it was necessary, but there was no time for casual talk between them. Gone were the times when they were free to sit by the lake and chat about anything they wanted.

Lily didn't defend Severus anymore, but then again, she didn't need to. Severus was becoming increasingly popular among the Slytherins, but Lily felt as if he wasn't happy with his situation. He had come to Hogwarts to find friendship, and he had succeeded in this respect, but were his friendships really genuine? She knew he had chosen badly when it came to friends. Rodolphus and Bellatrix were merely companions, but Lily scoffed at the idea of them confiding anything to Severus, or sharing anything more than pureblood jokes, for that matter.

Once again, she was grateful for being Sorted into Gryffindor. She was free from all this prejudice, or at least freer than the Slytherins who were deemed as traitors if they ventured to befriend anyone out of their own house.

She was trapped.

**Author's Note:**

**I'm sorry this chapter's a little shorter than usual **** but I felt that if I made this any longer it would sound tedious. Plus, when you don't feel like doing anything, nothing really exciting happens, and that's what Lily's feeling right now. So I guess I have an excuse.**

**I have FINALLY finished this story. The last chapter's coming up. See ya, please review!**


	9. May 1973

**Author's Note:**

**Things will get **_**slightly **_**dark in this chapter, but I think I'll keep it at PG-13.**

May 1973

She was shoved roughly against the wall, held up and suspended in the air by the throat. Struggling weakly, she attempted to break free from their grasp, but they were much too strong. She cried out in pain as another hand tugged at her hair, and she could have sworn that a few strands of bright red were ripped out from what she could see out of the corner of her eye. She heard a voice, "We got the Mudblood!"

_No! _She felt like lashing out at them, but they immediately cast a Silencing charm on her and she was rendered speechless. Had they not done so, the entire castle would have been deafened by her cries. "Let me go!" she screamed. But no one could hear her, and she looked pathetic as she mouthed wordlessly without getting her message across at all.

The hand released her, and she crumpled to the floor in a heap. For a moment, she thought her torment was over, but she was sorely mistaken. Instead, several other pairs of hands reached out to pin her arms and legs down to the floor. Fortunately, Lily was a lot stronger than she looked, and she flailed and kicked at her enemies who were holding her down. The edge of her foot connected with Rodolphus' shin, and he howled in pain. "Bloody Gryffindor!" he yelled. "What was that for?" He reached down and yanked at her hair again. She let out a shout of agony as a few more strands were torn from her scalp.

"What shall we do with her?" A foot connected with the side of her head, just above the ear, and she yelped once more. "A little fun, perhaps?" She wanted to scream. What could they possibly be suggesting other than…?

"Not in front of me!" A shrill voice penetrated through the gloom of husky voices from the boys. Bellatrix stood, one hand on her hip, the other brushing lightly through her unruly dark hair. "Anyway, you wouldn't want to deflower that Mudblood girl and contaminate yourselves in the process, would you?" she continued with a leer. The boys stared, but nodded in assent. Lily was relieved for a few seconds, but then she panicked again as the hands holding her down gripped tighter.

Finally, she was held down, wandless, defenceless, and pretty much everything else negative that ended with 'less'. She struggled again, but decided that there was no point in trying to escape when all hope was lost.

Or was it?

_Severus! _He had to be here, all his friends were. Her head turned wildly as she searched among the sea of faces for the one recognizable person she trusted. Her eyes skimmed over the mass of Slytherins, sneering down at her as she lay there on the stone grounds of the dark corridor. She was about to give up when she caught a glimpse of the greasy black hair she knew so well, and she saw him standing behind the imposing figure of Rodolphus Lestrange. He had melted into the shadows, but was not quite out of sight. "Severus!" she shouted. "Severus!"

Of course, Severus couldn't hear her, but he could sure as hell see her lips mouth the syllables of his name. His eyes widened, and he looked around for an exit but knew there was none. "Help me!" said Lily, now on the verge of tears as the boy who had once been her best friend tried his best to ignore her pitiful cries. The other Slytherins turned to look in the direction Lily was staring at, but as Severus' eyes met with theirs he gave a little shrug. Lily felt tears come to her eyes, but she forced them down. She wouldn't cry, not in front of them.

_Where is my wand? _She wanted to do nothing but hex him to pieces. She had not known all this time until this moment how much she depended on her wand. From experiments in class to the most menial tasks in her daily life, she relied on her wand to cast spells for every convenient moment. Without it, she felt like a part of her was missing.

The Slytherins, meanwhile, were still contemplating what to do with her. For now, they enjoyed watching her writhe on the floor without any success. Lily searched painstakingly for her wand. Then she saw it. Rodolphus had moved aside and shifted so that Severus' body came into view, and she could see her wand peeking out of the pockets of his robes. She knew it was hers, because of its distinctive colour only willow wood possessed. Severus' wand was of a much darker brown. He must have slipped it in there in her struggle to break free from the Slytherins' grasp.

Lily wasn't stupid. She told herself that she could do this. It had been a while since she had used wandless magic to do anything, but she still had that power somewhere. She could bet all the Galleons she had that her control of wandless magic was much better than that of all her peers.

So she concentrated. She reached into the back of her mind, searching for the power that lay within. It was somewhere there, she knew it. She felt a sudden rush of energy as she did so, and memories flashed through her mind. Memories of her and Severus by the oak tree in the meadow, the time they spent together after Petunia left her, and the absolute happiness she felt on the day of her birthday, giving him that oh so innocent kiss. Times had changed, she knew, and fat tears rolled thick and fast down her cheeks as she realised this. But still she concentrated.

That spark of energy grew until her entire body felt hot. Blood rushed to her cheeks as she raised a shaking hand towards where Severus stood. Before, she did not require any form of arm movement to complete a spell with wandless magic, but it had been much too long. Narrowing her eyes, she whispered, "_Accio wand."_

Her willow wand zoomed towards her with surprising alacrity and she caught it swiftly. Immediately, the Slytherins began yelling in shock. "How did she do that?" shouted Crabbe, mouth wide open. _Too late, _thought Lily, as she cast a quick _Impedimenta _and he dropped to the floor, weighed down by the spell she had put on him. He tried to move, but could only do so by an inch, such was the strength of the Deadweight Spell.

Most of the Slytherins were paralysed with fright at her speedy reaction. A lot of them had not thought to bring their own wands, because they had not expected her to find hers so quickly. The ones who did, however, were quickly struck down. After Stunning Goyle, Lily quickly noticed that the Silencio spell had been lifted, so he must have been the person who had cursed her. Most fortunately for her, she could speak normally once more.

"_Stupefy! Rictusempra! Impedimenta! Furnunculus! Stupefy!" _she yelled, her wand spinning alarmingly fast as she turned from one Slytherin to the next. Soon, all the Slytherins were either in a dead faint on the floor, screaming in horror as boils erupted all over themselves, laughing with uncontrolled glee, or suffering from some other fate that her spells had done to them. All except one.

She stared at her last opponent with bated breath. Startling green met onyx black, and they stared at each other for several seconds before Lily decided to turn and run.

She fled without looking back, more tears streaming down her cheeks as she did so. She ran for the nearest classroom, but before her hand could even reach the doorknob, she could feel a hand on her shoulder. Acting on pure instinct, her arm reached backwards in a fist and connected with the face of whoever was behind her. She heard a shout of pain – "Bloody heck!" and instantly recognized Severus' voice.

"Severus! I'm so sorry," she exclaimed, turning round. Severus was cupping his nose with one hand, bleeding profusely. _Oops. _"Hold still," she said, pointing her wand at him. She noticed him flinch a little, but once she assured him she wasn't doing him any harm, he relaxed a little more. "_Episkey."_ Severus squeezed his eyes shut, but after a few seconds he opened them again and removed his hand from his nose, which was now healed.

"Thanks," he mumbled, staring at his feet. He looked unsure of what to say as they stood there in an uncomfortable silence. After a long, awkward pause, Lily said quietly, "Why didn't you help me just then? My wand was in your pocket, you could have casually tossed it towards me when the others weren't looking." Severus avoided her gaze. Lily continued to stare at him until he started to fidget with his hands. "You've changed a lot since the last time I spoke to you properly," she said to him simply.

"I lied to you last year, Lily." Lily could tell that he had not meant to say that, as both of them reeled from his words. Lily gave him an inquisitive, questioning look. "What do you mean?" Checking that no one was around him, Severus waved his wand so no one could hear them except for Lily and himself. Despite the fact that he had put up his magical wards of silence, he still leaned forward and spoke to Lily in a whisper.

Severus closed his eyes and breathed in and out, counting silently under his breath. Lily waited patiently, like she always had when she knew Severus was preparing to say something truly honest.

"Look... um… there was something I didn't tell you when you confronted me in the library," he confessed. The truth is that it's not only because you're a Gryffindor, it's also because of your blood." He winced. "And I don't like it, but if I let them see I'm friends with you, they're not going to like it one bit."

Lily felt stricken from his words. "So you're afraid then?" she said.

Severus looked up at her, eyes wide. "I guess I am, a bit," he confessed. "After all, there is a saying that all Slytherins are cowards…" At the look on her face, he hastily continued, "But we're still friends… aren't we?"

Lily knew he had broken the promise he made to her just a few months ago, but from his expression she couldn't bring herself to say anything hurtful to him. So she decided to let it go. "Fine," she said. "Whatever."

But the disappointment was evident in her face, and he knew exactly how he made her feel. Lily shrugged and walked away.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Severus broke his promise. I don't think I trust him anymore. I think we're growing apart. No matter, though – we're still friends, but I have other friends too._

_Love,_

_Lily_

**Author's Note:**

**Though this story can be read separately, it is actually part of a series. If you're interested in what happened before Severus and Lily went to Hogwarts, there are several you can pick from.**

_**Four Seasons, **_**a four-chapter work in which Severus first meets Lily.**

_**Lily's House, **_**a three-chapter work in which Severus and Lily get their Hogwarts letters and have a sleepover, as well as prepare for school.**

_**Separate Ways, **_**a three-chapter work about Severus and Lily's journey from King's Cross all the way to the Sorting in the Great Hall, and also the moment when Lily and James meet...**


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